In December, we had a transition in our troop to a new scoutmaster, which Adam and I were excited about. We had a hard time working with the 2023 scoutmaster – he would ask us to do things, like run an activity or take care of some logistics, but then get angry with us when we did them. He’d get nice for awhile and I’d let my guard down, and BAM! Out of nowhere, he would get angry again. I could never keep track of what was going on.
He and I also seem to work in complete opposite frameworks even though as far as I know, we had the same training. (Maybe he just did it a long time ago?) When I think things should be “scout-led” with little adult direction, he micromanages and talks nonstop with giving the scouts lectures. When I think there should be adult intervention in a situation, he leaves the scouts to flounder on their own and tells me to not get involved because it’s supposed to be “scout-led.”
So a new scoutmaster team that is all women – !!! That’s awesome for a troop of girls! I am one of the assistant scoutmasters – ASM – and the lead SM is former military, very experienced in the outdoors, and gets things done lightning fast. It was great … at first … She was supposed to start in January but the minute the previous SM announced right after Thanksgiving, she immediately took over. Maybe that should have been a hint but honestly, I was so glad to be done working with him that I didn’t really care.
We’re only four months in with her, and there’s already conflict. Again. SIGH. Adam is supposed to be taking over in June as Committee Chair, because the current CC has been saying since we started a year ago that he wants to step down. So Adam is doing groundwork to take over that spot – getting to know people and figuring out who does what … and we are realizing very quickly that Madame SM does EVERYTHING herself and does NOT want to be questioned EVER. That’s really, really not how Scouting is supposed to work. The SM focuses on the Scouts themselves, the committee does all the logistical support. This SM does not want logistical support or to ask for approval or anything, and if you question her, you are disrespectful. She is furious at Adam for wanting to … well … do his job. His cardinal sin was that he told her No about something.
She’s also rough with the Scouts. If someone does something to get out of line, she never lets it go. Already. She made my youngest scout cry at the first campout – the FIRST one! – by threatening to send her home if she didn’t eat RIGHT NOW. I was sitting right there, I’m her mom, I can take care of her eating patterns. I looked at SM in total shock and she backed off. My middle kiddo did have a moment of frustration that got out of hand at a meeting, but since then, Kiddo can’t even give a “wrong” expression without being pulled aside and reprimanded, which has happened multiple times now. Kiddo comes to me – “What did I do? Why is she yelling at me?” Nothing, and I don’t know. Neither of them are having a great time with her as the leader – this is not going well.
We really don’t know what to do with this, but we will continue to go forward as best we can. I’m just here to DO SCOUTS. Can we just DO SCOUTS? I don’t know what this is – a really expensive outdoor program wearing BSA gear – but it’s not SCOUTS. Scouts is supposed to be fun learning and camping, not all this anger and power struggle.
On the flip side, Adam and I went to the University of Scouting adult training day in February and I really enjoyed it. I liked networking with people who know what they’re doing and are enthusiastic about Scouting. It was SCOUTS. When Adam and I arrived, we ended up at a locked door into the building and the guy who opened the door for us said he’d let us in only if we promised to register for Wood Badge. We laughed – Adam took Wood Badge nine years ago in Connecticut and I am registered. Delighted to meet my “Scoutmaster” for my training!
Wood Badge training starts next week. Adam keeps talking about the “ticket” and setting goals and projects, and I’m not clear on it all yet. I guess I’ll find out next weekend at my first training campout! I’m actually excited about it.
We’ll see how this ends up as a book later, I guess.